Self sabotage

So, I can start a diet great and be all gung ho, but eventually, I fall into a category that I call self sabotage. It typically starts with a bad weight, or a disappointing loss. Then, although I tell myself that I'm still all for it, a part of me begins to fall apart. I'll start eating things that are not healthy, in much larger quantities than I should, and then be mad and grumpy with everyone because I hate what I'm doing to myself. And while I know it's wrong, and can say I'm going to quit it, it's like this huge rut and the sides are so high that I can't seem to get out. so, I found myself in that place last weekend. It's frustrating and angering, because I don't know how to keep myself from going to that place. On Sunday, after two days of feeling like this and hating myself (I can't ever decide if I want to scream or break down and cry), I found myself sitting in church only casually listening to the speakers. My daughter was playing on my phone and I'll admit that I was paying more attention to her... She was scrolling through my pictures and all of a sudden, came across the picture of the scale from when we first started our venture. I realized that I didn't want to go back to that place. I'm not that far from it, but just don't want to go back. And all of a sudden, I realized that I have the power. Monday morning, I began a new step to my workouts, to change up my routine, and I'm hoping that it will help me focus. I don't expect to lose this week, since I have to pay for my "costly weekend". But I am better than I give myself credit for and I just have to remind myself of that daily.